Poedunkers, BikeProject-ers, Bacon Strippers, and all ye lovers of Free Range Pancakes,
Here’s the skinny on tomorrow’s beautiful, magical, maple-covered ride:
ULTIMATE GOAL: Meet atop Peavine @ 6:30 a.m.
PANCAKE SHANGRI-LA: Can be found if you . . . Go to the first set of microwave towers. They’re the ones tucked into the mesquite, off to the right of the main summit road (they’re the smaller, more discreet ones just shy of the true summit).
Breathe deep, and feel the sumptuous finger of aroma tantalize and enrapture your nose before plunging straight to the very core of desire… Yes, my friends, I’m talking about the smell of bacon. We’ll probably be off in a small flat clearing just BELOW the summit road. If your nose ain’t workin’, look for McD’s rangy head.
POSSE UP: 5 a.m. Keystone Parking lot. Folks leaving at 5 will probably keep a brisk pace to ensure early enough arrival to prep the goodness. (note I say “brisk” and not “crushing.”)
If you are, like some Strippers, a Bike Mutant, start at 5:45 and you’ll probably arrive when the first set of hotcakes comes off the griddle.
But if your Pancake mornings are normally slower paced, why change things? Plan on starting earlier. 2 hours (i.e. 4:30 start) should be plenty of time for most riders. A map can be found here.
WHO’S BRINGING WHAT?
This is what’s been accounted for so far:
Wolfy - 2lbs bacon / 2 lbs (!!) butter - sweet cream, of course / Ms. Butterworth’s full to just above the bah-zum line, 1 jet-boil French Press, 1 pancake flipping implement.
localcrew - 1 coleman 2-burner stove / 1 cast iron griddle / 3 french presses’ worth of coffee / 1 actual french press for prepping the coffee / luv / pancake mix
You - A plate and a fork and an napkin.
I know some more of you are coming, but since we haven’t talked, I’m not going to guess or presume what you will be carrying. Please save a little space in your packs if you could. Once I feel the weight of my pack, I might need a little help carrying the luv.
We will need extra water, so any volunteers, please bring surplus H2O.
I’m sure I’m forgetting stuff, so if you could also bring that, too, and it would be cool.
Lastly, a question: In an effort to ensure a lovely morning for all, I pedaled some stuff up there last night. Assuming it hasn’t been heisted by the same guys who almost stole my bike while I was caching the goodies, it should all be in place for tomorrow a.m. BUT . . . in the process of shuttling crap, I managed to hit a rock and completely eat shit in front of one of the most breathtakingly beautiful women I’ve ever seen on a mountain bike trail. And bless her heart, she had the grace to look upon this and say, in the most fetchingly coy way, “Stupid rock.”
I suffered acute humiliation for the cause, so I ask you: is that luv, or honor?
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beardog will haul some strawberries in his shoulder panniers if you share the bacon with him
i’ll bring freakwater, a grate, and 2 sticks to rub together to make fire
luv or honor? i’d say it was good luck… you made her laugh!
Chicks dig vulnerability. Dudes dig scars. So there’s nothing you can do to impress both more effectively than eat shit on a mountain bike.
-M
ps Someone scrounge the dregs from your recycle bin for enough beer for the batter.
Yum, sourcream beer-batter pancakes! Wolfy, thanks for adding artwork, textual flair, and tasteful touches to my visually unexciting post.
Someone bring a camera. I want more “Resplendent Kevizzizle” shots!
i’ll try to save a splash of barley pop for your griddle cakes. no guarantees though.
I’ll bring along a tub of Grundle Sauce and some extra Duck Butter if anyone needs some free range flavor for the Peavine ‘Cakes. I should be able to haul some extra water and maybe a LongHammer or two as well.
Jesus, I haven’t heard “Duck Butter” in forever. Am I out of touch?