All this talk about chuck norris blah blah blah, Let me tell you this: Chuck can come or go, but you DON’T want the Grisly Bike Geek dropping a bomb in your shitter @ 5 in the morning. That’s why I was ready and waiting in the driveway when he pulled up yesterday.
It was a simple plan and a plan that would end in disaster. Well, not really. Gris, Nooner, Huck Tater, JohnS and I started riding from the Confluence around 8 or so. 30 min later we hit the connector trail. Badda Bing Badda Boom, we ride and ride and climb and climb. Nooner and Gris are way off the front. John and Lee are riding my ass like a $5 whore. WTF! I’m gonna quit MY job, throw in a 2000 flushes blue, quit drinking coffee and ride and ski until the water turns clear again!
Nothing eventful on the first lap, but the sighting of this strange sticker on the Foresthill Divide trail. Weather was perfect, dirt was perfect (as if dirt could be anything but perfect) and the GBG seemed to be riding spry despite his advanced age.
Popping out from the Tunnel Trail I hear the sweet sweet call of my lovely-but-taken, look-but-can’t-touch (or so you believe..) Bustigator! He brought with him the DogIsNuts, Icandy, and Matty themack daddy, smokedthefatty from cincinatti Larson of The stable Quiver. Almost EVERYONE on singlespeeds! (including Nate on the Maverick with the Paul Melvin!)
We all started back up the connector trail. GBG, Nooner, Huck and John blasting it the fuck off with Matty riding them like they were $20 whores. Icandy had some issues with, of all things, getting his tires to seal. Pretty bike dude. Maybe some dirt on those tires would help thicken the sidewalls. Anyway, he and Bustigator and Schuster and I rallied pretty good around the course.
GBG said he pushed it hard as he could and didn’t cramp or bonk. I did the same, though a third lap would have pushed it too far.
Nate’s says: ”
23.2 mile lap. 2970′ of climbing per lap. 6.7 miles each way on the connector trail, + or -. The down hill to the confluence is .3 mi longer than the climb. So that puts the final leg at about 13.7 miles with ~1300′ of climbing. A-squad total of 60.1 miles you crazy bastards.”
We had a frame fatality, and a near rider fatality when John hit a kicker and went off the trail @ the end of the Tunnel Trail down by the American River. GBG can chime in with the description. Here’s the aftermath.
Then we hit Maria’s in Auburn for some Carnitas. Matty’s not a huge fan of Mexican, but he suckeditthefuck up for the good of the team. Thanks Bro!!
Good riding with all you fuckfaces! And on a WEDNESDAY!?!???!?!!!!!
-M
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